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| february 2011 |
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| Passing | 12:56am monday, 28th february |
Yesterday has burned itself out: I gathered its ashes and spread them out over the river of time. Today is the eternal now, that which began too far back for anyone to remember, to end somehow that no one wants to think about. Tomorrow is the dreaded desire, it is the quiet dawn, it is not as new as it used to be.... I imagine these to be the three fates of before, during, and after; and I have often wondered why their faces look to different directions, as if they never talk between themselves at all, blindly tossing the day from one to the next without thinking of the consequences of occurrence. Or perhaps it is only one fate, after all, constantly shedding her skin every passing dawn. And as I grow older, it seems to me that the day is getting shorter and shorter, to become at the end of this my life the single instant that lasts for all eternity.
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| Protection | 2:02am wednesday, 23rd february |
I feel as if I am specially protected by God. And then I wonder, is it truly thus, that I am offered extra safekeeping, or if the special thing actually is that I am able to see it? That would be heartening indeed, to think that angels look this well after everyone, not just me, and that I am merely given a second sight to see that this goes on. This is not to say that nothing untoward ever happens to me, or that I think myself exempt from tragedy. God sent us into the world to experience both the highs and lows, even His Son was not spared cruelty nor pain. It is just that I see just how much more the worse could be happening to me that is being averted from my onward path. In any wise, to be thankful that we may all be walking blessed, myself extra so that I am aware of such things.
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| to long | 9:16pm saturday, 19th february |
i will think about you until you are everywhere
until the dreaming spills into the morning unveiling
for there is no light in the world outside where you are
impossible is nothing when this love inside me calls
because i have seen your face before we ever met
and time is ever the only distance between us
one small thought and suddenly we are together
as if the intervening separation was like the night
when dawn opens the bottom of the waking sky
and it is as if the darkness never had been, at all
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| Quotes | 12:01am wednesday, 16th february |
The absence of alternatives clears the mind marvelously.
– Henry Kissinger
The secret of being a bore is to tell everything.
– Voltaire
Human beings are perhaps never more frightening than when they are convinced beyond doubt that they are right.
– Laurens Van der Post
The third-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the majority. The second-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the minority. The first-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking.
– A. A. Milne
It is good to be without vices, but it is not good to be without temptations.
– Walter Bagehot
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| The Edge | 2:43am friday, 11th february |
I have been to the edge and back. More than once. I may not have truly looked down into the bottomless beyond, but a hand has always stayed my stepping off, and I live today because of an unseen, blessed guidance. If I think upon my varied past, there are certainly moments where my own unbridled stupidity could have killed me. And that makes me wonder if I am a special case, or if angels regularly work overtime in many lives, keeping us all within the game of life. Why have I been spared? Perhaps when I finally do go, I will understand, or be told. Up until then, it is to thank heavenly grace that I have been given chance after chance — maybe this one not to blow it. That would be the best thank you, don’t you think?
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| progress | 5:37am monday, 7th february |
a willow leaf will fall from a tree
as delicate as the faith of a pilgrim
both seeking some final ground
pulled by some greater thing
wherever they wander, right or left
toward the rest they cannot fathom
while aloft on temporary principles
the journey, when over, like a dream
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| shift | 12:15am saturday, 5th february |
shadows shift as i wake — what i dreamed ebbs out of my grasp
sunlight moves in, crowding out the sleep from between my tired eyes
to work, to beat the dull drum: life is short and the day is long
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| Ask | 3:22am tuesday, 1st february |
“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.” [Matthew 7:7-8]
These words are perhaps of the most profound things ever written in any book. Their sheer simplicity speaks a volume in just a few phrases, shows a glimpse of an enlightened mind. Indeed, such truth do they have, that many will miss the meaning. For you might say, “There were times when I knocked, and it was not opened; and there were times when I asked, and I did not receive.” But these thoughts are miles short of the point. What the man speaks are instructions for living life — for who receives without that they ask for it, and to whom is it opened without that they knock? Therefore, ask; and therefore, knock. It is a lesson in courage: that you do not cease to seek when you are in need, do not cease to look for an answer when you question, and do not cease to live your life in this world in search of something better. Such are these words!
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