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| january 2010 |
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| here | 1:19am saturday, 30th january |
euphoria dream
a pocketful of love i spent on the idea
a round trip journey to the beginning
worth everything
in believing of the wheel does it turn
the vision of worlds behind the world
here am i, i said
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| Standing | 3:55am tuesday, 26th january |
I am contemplating several things right now. For one, I am wondering just how much I’ll get working of my pet project by the end of the month. At this time, I have the distinct feeling that I’m going to get this to work is a foregone conclusion, just when and exactly what form of it by that when. I have also pretty much decided to get another day job. Ideally, for 3 months, enough to live on and pay my taxes. Maybe max 6. Because even if the demo is ready and I get funded, the money won’t likely be immediate. And the third thing I’m thinking about is the ex-girlfriend, who is now a cartoon in my head like previous spirits that have visited me (and who still occasion my imagination). Like the others, I know it’s not really her. But I get the feeling that destiny is not through with we two yet, however long the turnaround time on this thing is. And so, I go...
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| stand | 4:13am friday, 22nd january |
i forget myself so easily
i imagine i can do great things with the back of my hand
pride before a fall, but it is to stand back up
face the unknown
for the best things one must risk the most
the heart and soul behind the passion
only one thing to do, ever
believe
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| Time | 6:47pm monday, 18th january |
All we know of time is change. Perhaps Einstein was right in saying that it is merely a most persistent illusion. As I look in the mirror and see the wrinkles becoming sharper as the years progress, I think of this illusion, time, and all I know of change, which we all know to be quite real. What is a year? What is an hour? Perhaps all that time ever is is what we make of it. In some ways like love, but perhaps less sentimental. Another quote comes to mind, from Shawshank Redemption: “Get busy living, or get busy dying.” For as we cannot escape the grasp of time, we cannot help but change. It is purely our choice in which way we decide to go. And here is hope: defeated and broken, Jesus Christ of Nazareth as He was being nailed to the cross said, “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do.” Sometimes the only thing we are left with is the strongest thing of all, that somehow, we believe. And even in death, we live.
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| command | 12:37am thursday, 14th january |
there is too much time, and too little
nothing in my life is sorted appropriately
i have scribbled ancient secrets in crayon
chiseled to-do lists onto granite tablets
forgetting i exist in my moment of triumph
my dreams have left me stranded here
on the shores of a distant, isolated hope
to fear the end i can’t reach fast enough
because i will never be in this place again
i write my name down in the dreaming
and command the wind to forget me
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| pattern | 12:01am sunday, 10th january |
there is one flower whose pattern describes the whole wide world
it grows out of the touch of shadow, where moonlight reflects as day
a fragrance that of the chaos when light and darkness were one
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| Heaven | 4:06am wednesday, 6th january |
In the realm of Heaven are seven times seven times seven worlds, each an arc from the next in the pathways of imagination’s home. Once I saw a field of green grass that folded away to reveal a starry sky underneath, into which I dove: to find a pool of rarest water hovering between spaces. To let oneself drift, it is more a dreamlike thing than closing one’s eyes in the deepest of sleep, for the Spirit flows everywhere in a glowing awareness of all that is, was, and is not yet. The entities I met guided me with their thought, through the daylight which was the light of the Holy. And how, when I returned, did I feel that solidity is a paltry thing, that the airs which I had breathed had more substance than any steel in these earthly delights.
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| Quotes | 12:26am saturday, 2nd january |
There is love of course. And then there's life, its enemy.
– Jean Anouilh
True religion is real living; living with all one's soul, with all one's goodness and righteousness.
– Albert Einstein
If we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly, our whole life would change.
– Siddhārtha Gautama Buddha
I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
– Ludwig Wittgenstein
A desk is a dangerous place from which to watch the world.
– John le Carre
If you can find something everyone agrees on, it's wrong.
– Mo Udall
Read, every day, something no one else is reading. Think, every day, something no one else is thinking. Do, every day, something no one else would be silly enough to do. It is bad for the mind to be always part of unanimity.
– Christopher Morley
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