I remember it all ended, once, in despair and confusion: everything went completely black. It was the counterpoint to my experience on 10/7/88: to that brightness yang was this darkness yin. It made me wonder if that was all that I had experienced, those two extremes, that I had been in contact with the primals Yang, the ultimate active; and Yin, the fundamental passivity. I had always wish to return to the light, I remember, the great solid white; the darkness was like unto death. But I conjectured that my categorization of these two states of awe were as like when the prophets saw visions, these were in terms that they would understand. Perhaps that life and death showed themselves to me in these forms. I remember what happened next when everything went black: the cartoon Jesus lifted it from me, and let me know that I had a second chance. And I still run under that assumption: all that I am now, all that I strive for: it is so not to blow this second chance. I pray that I do not disappoint whatever, whomever gave it to me.
