Sometimes I get this weird feeling, like I’ve been moved into an alternate reality. It happens when I hear or read something unexpected, which I had thought was written in one way, but turns out to be another. Song lyrics, books, Bible passages — as if they were re-written, the past has changed, and I still have the residual memory of what the original thing was. I must apply reason as thoroughly as possible to shake the feeling, that reality was always like what this “alternate” seems to be, that I must have misread it the first time, and the new clarity is the true form of things. But still, on some level, there is still the suspicion that some kind of trick is being played on me. At least for a while; I think I grasp that the mind is the thing playing the trick, not reality. The conspiracy is never real.
a nameless flower
10:14am saturday, 10th january
Perhaps like Master Zhuang's quotation?
"Once upon a time, I, Chuang Chou, dreamt I was a butterfly, fluttering hither and thither, to all intents and purposes a butterfly. I was conscious only of my happiness as a butterfly, unaware that I was Chou. Soon I awakened, and there I was, veritably myself again. Now I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly, dreaming I am a man."
Deep thoughts.
Nightwolf
8:17am saturday, 7th february
You know I have moments where I wonder. Is this me? Am I myself? Or, am I dreaming? Perhaps this is deja vu? Perhaps it's nothing.
a nameless flower