To this day I must convince myself that what I am looking at is as it seems, in viewing the things that are real. I spent so much time not trusting myself that I must physically force myself to understand that what I see is what I see, what I hear has a real source, what I feel not merely a vaporous, illusory sensation. I suppose it could be worse, and if I recall correctly (trusting this, now), the reason it remains at all is that it was much much worse in years previous. There was much that I could not discern whether they were really happening or if it were just leakings from the other world. And I also suppose it will get better, because it has gotten better, as these years progress. Mayhap there will be one day when I can truly call myself sane again. Who knows?
