Just making sure I get an entry out on the 13th. Heh. (Continuing from here...) Something snapped, summer of 1991; I really did feel something psychically snap: all the little cartoon people which had previously been only inhabitants of drug fantasy were loose. Not only that, real people would speak to me, whereupon I would just zone out on what they said, not understanding it at all, and they would shake me, "Stand? I asked you a question 5 minutes ago...."
My friends had had plans to help me. They did not know that my parents were coming to pick me up only a few days after the breakdown. They (my parents) are traditional Korean, and had no idea that I had any mental problem. They thought I was just not feeling well. Later they would learn that something was very, very wrong in that head of mine. They called all my friends, who informed them that I had been taking drugs, and that had led up to my demise.
My parents had had plans to go on vacation, so they went, though even from the pictures they brought back, I could see that they were troubled the whole time. Their son was sick, sick in a way they couldn't understand.
At the time, I had a thing for Julia Roberts. Back a decade ago, who didn't? Part of my madness was that somehow, I was talking to the real her when I was talking to the cartoon of her in my head, that she was going to take me away from all of where I was. Then, one day in a video store, I saw a box with Rosanna Arquette on it, and she flitted (in that other dimension thing which was my mind's eye) from the box into my presense; she overtook Julia Roberts, and she was with me for quite a few years after that. I don't know why, why her, except perhaps she was just so pretty.
The progress of my psychosis: I was Jesus Christ (reincarnated); then I wasn't, and Walt Disney was God; and then I was Walt Disney (reincarnated), and I was God (Jesus' Dad); then the snap, and I was gone. The Omniversal Savior I called myself (though only in my head). I thought I was God for about three and a half years, in one form or another....
karla
1:25am friday, 31st august
yes, yes...the journaling. i do believe that your mother had called me during this period-but i thought that someone was calling FOR you at my house, and (quite obviously) you weren't there. someone calling with a Korean accent.
i regretted getting off the phone so hastily for some years...until i heard from you fairly recently.
karla