I’ve got it down now, pretty much. There used to be attacks that used to come, where I would be listening to music (usually that’s where it happened), and the lyrics would tangentially refer to something that meant something in the madness I had. Then it would be as if the world would open up, to reveal the terror that was underneath. It used to be so bad, back when, that I would need to kneel and pray for Jesus to make it better (which He did, by the by). Then came a period when these occurrences wouldn’t hit so hard, and I could work through them. But I’ve got it going now that even before I get to anywhere close to the “revelation” that I know that anything revealed is not real at all. And I can see it coming, and I stop it before it starts. We can actually learn from the things that happen to us, howevermuch psychotic they are; there is an underlying logic, too, that often is hidden, but wherein lies the key to sanity. (Often boring, sanity, but much easier to relax in.)
Stand
5:10am saturday, 1st january
OK, here's the deal: I'll write here, but from now on, it will be sporadic, according to my whim and desire. But cheers! Happy New Year 2011!
Reflection
10:41pm tuesday, 4th january
Yeah, I know the exact feeling. Like your mind is trying to solve every single weird occurence in your life and then put them all together. Then that crazy paranoia gets crazier and crazier til if you are strong enough you don't have a nervous breakdown....It always reminds me of that Rolling Stones song (19th Nervous Breakdown).....Yeah sanity can be boring, but definitely much easier to relax in. Just a little bit of trippiness every once in awhile. Everything in moderation....I feel ya Stand...I'm glad you chose to write again.
Peace out and Happy New Year.
Reflection
10:45pm tuesday, 4th january
Me and this band we're starting have been listening to this song..If only life were so easy. Still, such a cool song. I'm sure you can relate Stand.
Stand
Kyle