I am learning how to let things go. I remember vividly there was this one thing I had the most trouble getting over, a really stupid thing. Back when I was heavily in my drug taking, I left a chunk of hashish on the seat of an armchair. Being stoned, I forgot about it, and then I proceed to sit down. The hash was nowhere to be found when it occurred to me (probably at the point when I was coming down) that I should have had some drugs left. I think I held onto that one incident for years after it happened — every time I thought about it, I felt angry about the whole affair. The case of the disappearing hash happened during one of the peaks of my madness, and that didn't help things out any, either.
I have found myself unable to let go of those things, those inconsequential in the grand scheme of things things. If I can't do that, how can I be expected to let go of the big things? I feel that that's a thing I should like to be capable of. Not being able to let go must be that part of me that's obsessive compulsive, the part that makes me check my alarm clock a few times after I've set it, making sure I've not turned the alarm off or anything. Yeah, those times back then I concentrated on that little chunk of hash and not on paying my rent — that was where I was. I don't know. Maybe I've finally decided to grow up. I think I've let it go, that hashish, after all these years. Growing up. Hm. I guess it happens to the best of us.
cheryl
5:42am thursday, 3rd january
I'm back-and I have trouble letting go of the past only because I'm so afraid that if I do the insanity will somehow sneak up on me again. when I came to terms with the fact that all my facts where screwed up I lost the security of trusting my own judgement. However, if in the grand scheme of things this was meant to be all I really need is trust and growing up will take care of itself.
kreepy kimmy
7:34am thursday, 3rd january
I'm so glad to know I'm not alone in the
'compulsive' alarm clock checking-thing!
ambmc
8:29pm thursday, 3rd january
You need God in your life!
Raymond
2:57am friday, 4th january
Stand
4:48am friday, 4th january
ambmc: I do have God (and His Son) in my life. Explore my site and that will be clear to you. I'm writing about stuff from long, long ago.
Tom
8:48pm friday, 4th january
Quit trying to fix yourself, live in the now, is your seat comfortable, is you nose clogged or are you breathing freely. Happiness is only a choice away. Just say "I'm happy and smile" and you will be happy.
Lu
2:23am saturday, 5th january
do you suffer from schizophrenia? If so, please tell me your worse symptoms and how you manage. Thanks
Ashleigh
11:16pm monday, 6th march
Im not immune to letting things go. I dont old burdons, my body just reuses to let me think about the future. I feel...trapped even
cheryl
kreepy kimmy
ambmc
Lu
Ashleigh