A couple nights ago, or more correctly, in the middle of the early morning, I had a dream that was so intense it woke me up, where I was in the middle of an infinite hazy space. It was so intense it spilled into the waking; it was so intense I thought for a moment that I was having a stroke. What I figured out from it: this was the scope of what could be known, and me, tiny, in the center of it, I had an idea of what I knew, which filled almost nothing of this space at all. The next day, all day, I had this feeling of utter well-being. Though all the things I had been expecting had not happened yet, still, I knew I was in quite an enviable state. Such things, I suppose, are the fruits of perspective. One must go with all one can in the groove of such phenomena, to say at the end of life: that one has lived.
Reflection
2:02am friday, 2nd march
In the space of about 3 weeks I've had two euphoric Nirvana experiences that lasted longer than usual. It was like I could actually choose to stay "On that side" and enjoy bliss or return to this. I never really before could accept just staying in Nirvana, but I think I am almost there. Meditating like crazy for over 10 years and reading all sorts of books by old sages has led me to freedom. Nothing good is easy. Schizophrenia..A blessing in disguise to me.....To others..Insanity....I feel for them........but I know they will have their chance...
My latest song.....I have not played in about 6 months....This is an acoustic guitar (found by my dad in someones garbage, and he brought it home and re fretted it) played with electric strings.....I've had many guitars over the years....Probably 30+.........all broken out of anger and a feeling of deceit...........That song in this link...You will not hear anywhere but here.....Its beyond the weak minds of all you idiots........Trust me..I'm not looking for publicity........It will never happen. It wasn't supposed to.
This song I made about 7 or 8 years ago reminds me of heaven the most..Or at least the stage of heaven...I believe as Jesus said..."There are many mansions in my fathers kingdom." or something like that..I believe there are many levels of commitment and understanding..........To think we all are going to be on the same plateau and loving each other as one is a farce...There are different levels of commitment.........I think this song best expresses my experience in heaven........Yes I have been there......believe it or not.........but I bet you will not come close to making something like this unless you have...This is not puff daddy or the Jonas brothers.......This is real....... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NwENF_Z0NHc
Reflection