A shout out to Strawberry and Reflection, who apparently are not speaking to one another. The latter has stopped his medication, the former is reducing hers, step by step. I do this because I’m joining them in this endeavor. I have reduced my Zyprexa intake from 5mg a day to 2.5mg a day. The reason why I’m doing this is a little crazy. It’s because I had a decisive victory against my demon (whose name is Roksaza — yes, if you didn’t know by now, it’s that kind of demon). And this victory inspired me to think that the healing that I wrote about previously is happening in more than theory. So how it’s going so far is that I’m not sleeping as well as when I was with previous meds (with the exception of last night, when the previous days’ sleep troubles caught up, apparently, and I was very unconscious). Also there is a pressure in my head, which lets up some, sometimes. But the crucial thing: I don’t feel more crazy, or less in control. This might be it. Wish me luck.
Reflection
1:03pm sunday, 12th august
The purpose of life is to overcome the human sinful nature. Its a series of tests. It is said that demons and angelic like beings don't war with force, it is more like a debate team. Arguing over souls, and what is right and what is wrong. Through meditation and repentance you increase your faith and understanding, but you have to be trusted and you have to be completely without doubt. Removing doubt and sexual sin is the hardest. The main thing is trust..You cannot be trusted with real power then be at the top of the mountain with God and then screw up. LOL....It would be like the President going out to bars and getting wasted and hanging out in brothels. God won't give you any power if you are just gonna act like a fool...I know this from experience. You have to step out into the unknown with confidence and never look back.....
Reflection
1:07pm sunday, 12th august
There are two types of people. People that resolve themselves to "this world is all there is" and stay trapped in their own little bubble of stupidity. Then there is the wise people who say "wait a minute, what the hell is going on here?"
Reflection
3:12pm sunday, 12th august
The master musician realizes in the end of his quest that he doesn't need his instruments and throws them away..It was all for naught...When you pluck a string on a guitar does the sound not return to silence?
Reflection
10:29pm sunday, 12th august
And if you are going to defeat your demon or any demon for that matter it would help to not debate with it about anything. Don't watch television listen to the radio or get involved with the world. Its all fueled by chaos and is all rooted in evil. Its just society has been so misled for so long. Television, radio, and all the other bullshit keeps you entertained but at the same time programs you with confusion. Why do you think all spiritual people say the "the hell with this crap" and move up into the mountains.....Jesus was a dropout, so was Buddha, so was all spiritual gurus..You can't tell diabolical forces are in control of this world. God pokes his head in every now and then, but you know how often that is....Its all a test..Just ignore the demons lies......
Reflection
1:43pm tuesday, 14th august
The Divine madness
To step out of societies norms.
Through endless time and endless forms.
To see and feel what cannot be real?
The masses fade behind our heels.
They say you are crazy, they say you are mad.
Stuck in their bubble chasing their fads.
God doesn't follow what humans think is sane.
And never will.
Reflection