So it’s been a year since I experienced what I call the Event (as opposed to Incident, which other breaks in my line of life might be tagged). I find I have a similar faith that I had before the Event started: that these visions will fade, and my mind will be whole again, and not scattered all throughout the astral plane. I think that was it, why I was not allowed to marry before, why while on the brink of success, my AI was not allowed to be completed. The Event was the culmination of 25 years. Of visions, madness, dreams. The buildup of which brought this site here into being, half that time ago. I can make sense of it all, a grand theoretics, not the saccharine crystallization of a psychotic breakdown. Life, not death.
Everything has changed. Food tastes differently, and I find myself sort of clumsy at times, both physically and mentally. This is what a true religious experience does: turn your life topsy-turvy. You cannot be the same. And I ended up writing a book about the whole thing. You know how people were like, “It’s December already? What did I do this year?” I had an answer to that. Something physical, something real, something I could hold in my hands. And what have I learned? Things can make sense, all of it. And that there is no such thing as “have to be”. May I never be ashamed to love. May I love beyond my means.
