I don’t know when it was that I began noticing imperfections. But there it is, I can’t watch live events without almost cringing whenever there is even a possibility of error. Misstatement, misstep, the wrong note, the wrong placement. I turn off the sounds and try not to look when people give their acceptance speeches at awards shows. I really hate it when the music turns on to “play them off”. The air is too pregnant with the possibility of... I don’t know, exactly. It seems like a ripe field for accident. I remember that feeling as a child, of, “I can’t watch”. I thought I outgrew that, but apparently it has come back. It’s different though: nowadays, I know the look of a train wreck. I usually have seen people making those mistakes. And now, it’s sort of a hyperfocus on them all. Is this growing old? I feel so bad for them, when they fumble in front of millions, or whatever number, on stage. Maybe that’s it? No one has a take 2 in real life. And I hate to see wasted effort.
Reflection
1:11pm friday, 14th march
It was demons, they tried to attack me last night....I asked to channel one last poem for them before I send them to hell.........This is what it said.
Special
Without any doubt, i have loved changing
mercy to fear to fight your ego with sexual friction
entanglement. Kill yourself.
Reflection
10:24pm friday, 14th march
I'm not sure who I am channeling?...I just did this one.
Robot
Do you see me as a robot?
Built without cares.
Dying in incessant fuel.
Start me up and watch me crash together
in a heap of death.
Pull me out my love, the days are
winding fast towards destruction.
Seek not to follow me home if you want
to dance in darkness.
Reflection