I touched the hopelessness today. It was not like back when, as a teenager when thoughts I entertained of leaving this world. That time was perfectly described by Albert Camus: that to continue was just not worth the bother. This was different, as if the world’s walls were closing in on me, that there was too much that was out of control, and my soul were abandoned, left to itself in desolation. I think I may understand why Zachary Odette chose to exit. But I cannot go that way, no matter how shut the future seems to be. All it takes is one good day to turn it all around, and really, things are nowhere near as bad as all that. Even when the pattern matcher of the mind can only see the negative of the entire world: go one more day. Dawn is sometimes surprisingly close to coming.
