The greatest fear that went on in my life was that I was the Antichrist, the Beast 666, Son of Satan, all that jazz. It was about 1994 that the fear started; and when — during the madness — I believed I was the Beast, TERROR. I started growing white hairs the year that that fear started. (Yes, it has been shown that fear really does cause white hairs.)
I go along, probably believing that I'm Archangel Michael, and then something happens, the signs in my head all point to the dread knowledge that I am actually the son of darkness.... Thank the Lord, it's fear that occurs. Not that I am a big fan of the fear, but I'd rather that than getting off on it, liking it. I never do. I am instantly afraid of the Lake of Fire, written of in Revelation, the place of the Second Death. When it happened, I generally fell to my knees and prayed ... and it passed. If anything happens like that nowadays, I just wait it out. Kinda used to it. "I have learned how to lie very still around big noises."
karla
2:55am friday, 31st august
really glad you've learned the patience to wait it out. kind of like when i'm in really high places, afraid that i'll suddenly hurl myself over the side, i just breath deep and let it pass...
Tabitha
6:04am friday, 14th december
I can relate to what you've said. I also had an "episode," after I gave birth to my daughter. I suffered with post traumatic stress syndrome and had somewhat of a breakdown, in which I was hospitalized for approx. a week. In part of this episode I was convinced that I was Jesus Christ, reborn as a female. I thought that I came back as a female because as "God" I wanted to get all aspects of the human experience.
Also, my mother is shizophrenic and manic depressive and I can relate and understand a lot of what you say.
Thank you for sharing!
crystal
12:41am thursday, 18th july
i can kinda relate to that, i thought that i was reincarnated as JESUS CHRIST to trick human kind and that only REAL christians knew the truth about it.(JESUS being a female). that's out there isn't it?
Fiona
6:46pm thursday, 15th april
Its amazing the similarities that we undergo. I too felt that I was reincarnation of Jesus Christ - I had been following New Age philosophies - and I now believe it was Satan trying to deceive seekers of truth - he disguises himself as an Angel of Light - I went through all kinds of really confusing times in my two episodes - and I finally became a born-again christian -Thank God.Great site.
Damien
9:43am sunday, 7th november
You're not the Antichrist....I AM the fucking Antichrist...born on the 13th of May, 1965 ; living in Apartment number 13 ; a scar on my right hand & forehead ; left-handed ; totally fucking screwed up by my involvement with YOUTH WITH A MISSION in Australia... you have no fucking idea at all...you want to know more ???....look at the lyrics from the song ; SUPERSTITION by Stevie Wonder....."13 month old baby...broke the looking glass...7 years of bad luck, the good things in your past..."
When you add 13 months to my date of birth ( 13/5/1965 ) you get the 13th day of the 6th month, 1966.
Am I schizophrenic or am I really the Beast ??? My mother suffered from schizophrenia and suicided a week before my 13th birthday...GOD SUCKS !!! Why do you think they call Australia the LAND DOWN UNDER...it is'nt because it's in the Southern Hemisphere. Is'nt it funny that the Antichrist in the OMEN movies was called"Damien"....or is it a case of LIFE IMITATING ART ?????
Heather
3:49am monday, 28th february
I thing you are a great guy. How do you fly your slagh I know by your raindeer but how do you get them to fly.
Merry Christmas. Ho!Ho!Ho!
Heather Granada
Heather
3:54am monday, 28th february
Hay santa,
That kids letter Has many bad words in it and he wrote God **d*dd. You know what. He Doesent deserve presents. He Gets Cole. Don't you think.
Heather
Anonymous
1:25am tuesday, 10th may
I can remember thinking along these lines. I actually thought I was supposed to "play" the antichrist so that Jesus would come back-I had "false memories" (confabulations from alcoholic blackouts) of having come up with this "scheme" with/for a girl whose hand in marriage I wanted. Basically, this girl moves away, then I "recall" these memories of having been with her, coming up with this plan where she would later get to know me (sober), then (back in the memory) I erase having known her through an alcoholic blackout. I guess that's a severe warning to quit drinking!!! I guess I should have just taken Paul's advice on that one. Anyway, I am better now since I am commanded to "forget what is behind and press on..." and also that marriage is not for everyone, as Paul advises, and as Jesus said "anyone who can accept this command ought to." It is a hard saying, and not what I would choose to call a gift, but what do I know. God Bless!!!
abbie
9:28am wednesday, 14th september
This is why I gave up thinking about religion, it seemed to feed my beast. It brings up emotions that are too intense, and feeds into the Catch-22 thinking.
karla
Tabitha
crystal
Damien