I'm tired. It's work, mostly, still not used to waking up as early as I do. I know, many (many) people wake up earlier to go to crappier jobs. I know. But I don't think many people got used to sleeping at least 10 hours a day because their brain was malfunctioning for about six years. I did, and I am still hampered by the experience. Plus, add the fact that I've never been a morning person, and you see me bleary-eyed as you do these days. I sleep on the trains in (I got myself good at waking up at the right stop the two trains I take, or a little before the stops), and then the bus for an additional ten minutes. When I walk into the office, I don't say a word to anyone, reaching instead for my coffee mug. I don't wake up fully for at least a half an hour, maybe an hour.
At least I'm sharper than when I started my job. I remember just completely zoning out at meetings, having to ask people about the finer points that the meetings had already covered. When I'm awake I'm pretty with it, these days. I dunno. I guess I'm spoiled. Or maybe I'm just normal. It seems to me that not that many people like what they do, and even fewer would do it if they didn't get paid for it. It seems to me that most people complain about their jobs, and I guess that's all this is. I'm just a blip on the radar of the collective unconscious, baby. Hm. Normal. Perhaps there is here (as there is in many, many places) room to be thankful to the Man above. At the worst of it, let me not forget that, and I think I'll be okay, whatever may be.
