My mind swirls, sometimes. It is not madness, I think, merely the inability to focus — a relatively common thing. Perhaps it is a little amplified, considering it is happening to someone who has a history like I do, but my madness is for the most part checked. I am lost sometimes in the muchness of the world, the manyness. My mind swirls, filled with possibilities, probabilities, and pipe dreams. (That last thing — it is sometimes hard to let go of illusions, n'est-ce pas?) There is much I want to do with my time in this world, now that I have a life again, now that I have potential in me, now that my life is not draining away as I sit in a room talking to the voices in my head. The potentials need actualization, need action — all of them want to happen now. My mind swirls.
It is that I am waist deep in ideas, if you please. And it is a good level — not too low that I tire of their shallow tide, lose interest and step out onto dry land, and not so high that I cannot breathe, clawing only for escape. It is just enough that my mind is in a pleasant swim.
john
8:24pm thursday, 7th november
I read what you write and it sounds like me sometimes. what's wrong with me
john
8:24pm thursday, 7th november
Stand
9:09pm thursday, 7th november
Probably nothing, john. Like I say, the mind swirl is not madness.
Andy
10:26pm thursday, 7th november
Your story is so raw, so real. I thank you for sharing. And I am glad you are in a better place. Best of life to you.
chris
3:11pm friday, 8th november
i think i am going insane
chris
3:12pm friday, 8th november
did you ever do any drugs?
chris
3:15pm friday, 8th november
nevermind. just read the story. is it normal that your experiences parallel mine pretty clearly? the thing is that i don't want help. i want to slide.
Stand
5:52pm friday, 8th november
chris, we often don't realize we have gone too far until we are far past the line. I hope things work out for you.
chris
1:35am sunday, 17th november
well, after help from friends and family it seems that i will never go as far into hell as you did stand. thank you though.
john
john
Stand
chris
Stand