Where did it come from, the madness? Yes, I know it was caused by the drugs, but where did they come from, the voices and visions, the bizarre thoughts and intuitions? Is all of that ilk hidden in everyone, or are the special things of madness only seeded in a few, like me, where the these found fertile ground? I think I may not find the answers in this lifetime, the questions to the source of the tragic absurdities and amplified banalities of psychosis. Yes, I understand that my mind was broken, that "normals" don't think in such ways, of such things, but why the things that I did think about? I experienced life, after all, in the usual way before I went out of the loop....
I will not pause and think about it much. It is just one of the curiosities of the phenomenon, that one wonders things about it. It is only natural to ask. For now, I will think that the elements of my madness were meant for me, somehow, at least in some small sense, that I learn from it what I can. One can always hope.
robert
9:29am friday, 31st january
i'd like to say that your writing is very deep and touches me for i feel these ways all of the time also my writing is not nearly as good as yours or as finely written as yours but it is mine and represents my thoughts and my feelings so to me its great but yours are the first that i have read that i feel are truly genuwine like they are truly yours and and very dear to you which i think is great also yours are the first that i have found so close to how i feel even if they are on a much higher level than mine
robert