The page facing this page, in the book The World's Religions, as you can see. From that same mental institution, natch:
Oh, man, what was I thinking? Names of friends have once again been whited out (to protect the innocent, as it were).
me?!
7:12am monday, 10th february
I do not think it is as "bad" as you think. Some of it acctually makes sense..
I have spent my night wondering bout this whole madness thing..why is it that if one questions everything youre suddenly a mental basket case. Some of the questions i struggled with last night was these :
When should one stop trusting others and put theire trust elsewhere?
Why does one inflikt oneself pain on perpose if not to show strenght?
When is it time to stop question and start accepting?
Should one openly aknowledge the views given by society or try to think ?
When going down on a sinking boat would and should one give ones seat to somebody else or selfishly take it?
When should one stop fighting their demons and surender?
Why is everything a fight between good and evil?
How can one resist the temptation , when one pill can provide escape?
Why must some struggle while others dance through life?
What is right and what wrong?
What shall one stand, and when does one start to fight back?
How shall one act to avoid misunderstanding?
How is it that we rape the innocent minds of our youth and ask why the world is facing such a dark future?
When is it time to understand youre praying to deaf ears?
Why should one try hard when one can indifferently give a damn?
When is it time to stop caring?
How many times shall one fall before refusing to try again?
How is it that ones past can blind one from seeing the future?
Sometimes i wonder if im the only one sane in a world gone crazy, or maybe im the only one crayzy in a sane world...
Ill be back soon, just needed a blow off in the name of sanity!!!
me?!
7:52am monday, 10th february
Just one more thing while i still remember, Ive read the whole thing again, but my short memory capasity prohibits me to remember, therefore i will ask you even though i might find the answer if reading through again..what was i saying,yes i wondered how your relations regarding your friends are now. How did they relate to the whole madness you went through? Did they freak out intirely? Guess you lost many friends ey?
Stand
8:02am monday, 10th february
I didn't really lose friends, though I did strain my relations with them. One friend, in particular (my best) — things were never really the same after the whole affair. My family was great, and supported me the whole time, and got me off drugs. Count your blessing, huh?
x
8:37am monday, 10th february
As a poet I'm rather fond of the idea that Sylvia Plath was the Queen of Rock and Roll!
me?!
12:06pm monday, 10th february
:) *THANKS*
Just needed to blow off.. okay now.. My greatest fear would be to, IF in a state of madness, have my friends turn their back on me.. Though i got rid of most of the lot last night(therefore my outburst here earlier) :)
I just keep imagening those funny looks one sometimes recieve from unknown people, only from my friends. That i think would be hard to overcome..
Been saving for weeks now, finally could afford a CD. The group is Linkin Park. Everybody whos interested in madness should listen to it. Marvelous! Theire not nutcases or anything, they just tells about that stuff from the inside. Quite intense actually.. Specially these songs : CRAWLING!!, Whit you, Points of authority, Runaway, BY MYSELF!!, IN THE END, A place for my head, FORGOTTEN!!, Cure for the itch(songs written with capital letters are especially good). There are loads more good songs but my memory fails listing them. But for those interested it is deffinately worth looking into..in my opinion.. So if any of you need some music to calm your head when thoughts are raising, this is the propper music.
Guess i should get back to school, nah.. :)
All in good time :)
Stay and improve my surfing skills, se yall round..
me?!
3:20pm monday, 10th february
It is stange, in some ways that you didnt lose any friends, i would have thought so. Ive heard all these horrorepisodes where one is left to himself. His friends kinda bailed. Can understand i guess, isnt easy watching your friend crack before your eyes... But then again, in such a state one needs ones friends..
But can you feel them looking at you and you just know theyre wondering if ure still damaged goods, and if you still can be trusted??
And it is, in my opinion, bad eneugh to have a relationship change..
me?!
8:01pm monday, 10th february
Finished training now, anyone here?
Kinda in the mood for talking....
Anyways for those interested i got more music to recomand : Millencollin (punk) No Sigar, Duckpond, Hellman, Devil me, Penguins and polarbears, A-Ten are some good songs.. Also the group NOFX is asom. On the other hand one has the king of kings, 2pac. Dead but NOT forgotten.thats about it, cant think of no more.. well ill chech in later then...
friend
9:37pm monday, 10th february
As my best friend just told me about her diagnosis. I am wondering what might have made the difference with your best friend? And what is the best way to help?
me?!
10:23pm monday, 10th february
just wishing yall a good night. Hope Stand can provide you the answerds you are looking for. I can only advice you suport your friend and be there for her. Sometimes the most obvious is what is furthest from your mind..
And there is a saying bout accepting people as they are, with all their flaas. (and another bout riding the off storm..)
And without really knowing,and in jeopardy of beeing wrong, i would guess that when paceing on the unpredictable road of madness, your friend would be glad to have you, something solid in her life. Just from the top of my head.. if you found anythin of use in what i said i am content. Also i am currious to the question you raised.. Hope all works out for you and your friend!! I really do! Night,sleep tihgt,dont let the big, bad bugs bite..
Stand
12:27am tuesday, 11th february
friend: The thing with my old best friend was that I made unreasonable demands that he could not in good conscience go through with (like ask him money to buy drugs). And I said things like "if you don't [unreasonable demand], we're not friends anymore!" Another friend, whom I am still close to, once said something to me which struck a chord: "I don't know who you are, but I don't like you." That was kind of meeting me halfway, acknowledging my claim to be the savior of the universe like I thought I was, but what was really on his mind, too. I think it depends on how far "gone" your friend is. If he/she is way past the edge of reality, it might be best to keep a little distance while medication and therapy bring him/her a little more reachable.
anon.x
9:27am tuesday, 11th february
for: me?!
some music to recomend to you!
try the Tracy Chapman music, i dont know which album cos my sister just copied a collection for me. They're not that deep, but they touch me and make me smile. You seem in need of a good smile. just listen to her words if you get the chance. take care
friend
5:27pm tuesday, 11th february
Thank You!!!
v
12:17am friday, 14th february
you speak about buddha,and god. who's god? no; really whos god, because we are all potential buddhas
Jesus Freak
12:17am friday, 21st february
I think it is sad that you ask who God is. He is the Savior. He sent his only son to come to earth to die for our sins. this is all simple understandance, but he is the one who loves us all. he created every one. I have a question for v.... why do people worship a statue, when this statue could be made by hand or even in a factory? could i go and make a figure out of play-do and you worship it? just wondering? -God Bless
me?!
Stand
x
friend