I'm set up here, here in Seoul, in the Republic of Korea. Spent Tuesday going up a mountain in Taegu (third largest city in South Korea), kneeling and bowing to the grave mounds of my ancestors. No joke, it was great. So, I guess I'm back, here at ol' H13.com. Note that I may have the time all screwed up, so don't expect journal entries to appear when you normally expect them to. And away we go:
I have imagined being alone
and the world out there a fake,
only some unnamed something
out there, outside, who plays
with my mind. This other,
I have thought it God, I have
thought it some sort of cousin,
I have thought it an enemy,
and I have thought it a lover.
But in here, there have been times
when there was no one else,
there have been times when there
was just me, playing with me,
and even the other was just a
reflection, warped, made to look
different enough to be someone,
something else. When these times
come, I must remind myself
that this great big universe, this
multifold world — it was not made
just for me, just to play, never
thinking there was no one else.
I must remind myself to believe
that I deceive only myself when I
think these ill-conceived thoughts,
and it would be me who does
not exist, and the world go on, the
universe's gears keep turning
if I were to let myself become
immersed in the lie. No, I will not:
I will not let go of this idea of
many, and this one will only
turn inward so far, knowing that
there is too little inside to sustain
something like a universe:
I believe in the mosaic, I believe
in the kaleidoscope: I have imagined
too small, and seen too little.
Time always to see the day bloom.
x
7:50pm thursday, 13th november
Good to see you back, have missed reading your stuff. Like the thought of bowing to the ancestors, it's respectful and maybe they can help us out now and again.
x