As Philip K. Dick put it, the psychosis is when the radio talks directly at you, as if your thoughts are being broadcast. I've had this phenomenon happen to me, though in most of the few occasions it has, I was on drugs at the time. Madness is when you seem to glimpse a conspiratorial order to the world, sense a secret that everybody seems to be in on but you — but just to know it's there, not to know just exactly what it may be. When the radio says your name exactly: it is as if the underpinning threads of reality unravel just enough to let you know that someone, some thing is watching, and you must fear this one, this thing.
What you do not realize at these points is that it is that there's no one else involved, why this Other is always watching, knows your thoughts: that Other is you, just you. And that secret that everyone else knows? It is merely the shared experience of that which is real, the ground by which people communicate and know what the other is saying; that which the madman loses touch with, one you can't be let in on because either you get it or you don't.... When and if the radio talks directly at you (I pray it never does), have a blank tape ready and record it. Listen to it later, for it is never what you think it might be, never what you think it was.
MAGGIE
11:06pm sunday, 30th november
AEWSOME. REASSURING TO READ....THAT THE OTHER IS YOU AND THERE IS NO SECRET. I GET THAT WAY SOMETIMES
Antti from Sweden
2:51pm thursday, 19th february
Haven't You ever read Carlos Castaneda. There the old indian says that You have to lose your selfimportance. Let's say there are 5000000 schizophrenics in the world and all are disturbed by some radio. Howcome they are so important? Maybe it's a question of the suppressed mind. It wants to be the ruler of the world and makes tricks to be so important. The idea of the worldrulerer is very astonishing thing. It's a impossible task. The 99% who are healthy do the ruling and the poor schitzophrenic is bound to his poor splitted ego. There are tens of thousands of Gods and kings in the asylums and nobody does rule anything. The God doesn't punish if you say you're a god, but the reality is horrible. The wounded soul under a metaphysical net. It's squeezed in a feeling of nothingness and can't find it's way out. It's better you don't divide to be or not to be. Nonbeing and being are both the others sides of the same coin. It's impossible for a schizophrenic to intentionally lie, but that can be learned too. White lies are necessary for survival. The honest become psychotic in this mad world. Do never hurt the authority, he's too big.
The authority might get angry and what happens then. He might destroy you for your disobeydance. Remember that the authority gets his power from the absolute. He's not weak. You can't harm him. But when you start studying the authority you'll notice that he is weaker than you. His rage is just because of the uncompleteness.
yours Antti
Tom S.
9:51pm tuesday, 13th july
Yeah, but what if there really does exist a conspiracy amongst people, friends or even family, designed to drive you absolutely psychotic ? Wouldnt it indeed make you crazy to know, yet to be unable to convince anybody that it were true indeed ?
MAGGIE