The most intense trip of my life. Man, I've told this story so many times I'm almost sick of it. Almost. It started like every weekend, a Friday, dropping acid during the Fall semester of my sophomore year. By this time, I was tripping every weekend, smoking an eighth of pot a day. This acid that was going around had gotten a bad reputation: people were having bad trips on it on one or two hits. I was going to take five, but I received strong warning not to. So I took three (which people also thought was a bad idea). The stuff was strong. After about twenty minutes I was tripping hard. I called my best friend at the time, and he came right over to my dorm room with a group of friends.
My mother called. I was in no condition. I sat on the bed, my leg shaking, basically unable to speak, and I saw that the other people tripping that night seemed to glow, while the others seemed normal. I went to the bathroom, and when I got back to my room, a friend who was not on acid said, "How's it going?" and perked his eyebrows up. When he did that, as I was looking into his eyes, that set off the mechanism: suddenly, the world was not the world anymore, the world was not real, but actually a drug rehab center I had been placed into when I had been so messed up that I had not realized it. My friends were actually like mechanisms of this rehab center. I had to get out.
I ran out my door, through the hall, and I thought I could somehow pass through these swinging double doors in the middle of the hall, so I literally ran into these doors. Chipped a tooth. I thought I saw a friend who had freaked out the semester before walk across the ceiling. I got back up, walked to the exit, and as I left the building (so to speak), I said, dramatically, "I'm off drugs." I ran down the stairs of my dorm, then down this driveway where there was this big exit sign... and I started to lose contact with my body. I fell, sliding across the asphalt. Then, I passed down, backward, out of my body, and I was a globe which could see in all directions at once, but I didn't know where I was. As I became scared, I saw two of my friends, who I knew weren't really them but symbols of all that was right and good. "This is the only reality you have," one of them said. "Up, up."
So I passed back into my body, got on my feet, and walked up the driveway, where I saw my best friend, who had come to see where I'd run off to. "Where are you going, Stand?" he said, but he was a symbol of all that was wrong, of the rehab center, so I ran from him, screaming, "I'm off drugs!" I ran down the street, and where I was running to was a bridge, which at that time had a guardrail only four feet high, and which had a drop straight down of 100 feet. I was going to jump. I needed to get out. I ran up the hill, up a street, toward the bridge, when there was sort of this voice in my head, which said if I wanted to get out, I would have to run forever, and this endless maze appeared in my head, which I was to fill with my running. When I decided yes, there was this light. I tried to grasp it with my mind, but it overtook me, and then, all there was was this white light, so bright it was solid, and it was as if I did not exist in comparison to this light. It was like I were being told, there, while I was in the light, a strong feeling which told me I was not this light: and I saw it: the circle whose center is everywhere and whose circumference is nowhere: infinity.
I don't know if that light was God or me whiting out or what it was, though I would like to think that it was the trim of God's light... but I know that He saved my life that day. I got up from where I had fallen when the light overtook me, and I did not need to run anywhere. Somewhere within me was the feeling that I had gotten out. I was okay. He had been the only thing between me and that bridge.
bristol
10:36pm monday, 29th october
wow..i just read that and i really don't know what to say. i mean, i am clean, and always have been so i have never really experienced anything like that. hm...i really don't know...all i wanted to say is that i appreciate you writing all of this.
A. N. Mous
2:50am wednesday, 9th january
I had a similar experience...though perhaps from the opposite perspective.
I won't go too far into the details...but many things along the same lines happened. I could see in my friend's eyes...a mirror image of what you described. I could see it...and do nothing. I fear I did more damage to his mind in saving his life, time and time again...than I would have in simply allowing him to die. At the end...he somehow shoved the memories of that night so deeply...that I fear for the day they come out. I, however, was left to sit and wonder. Several hours of pondering while tripping out of your mind...well...it took many months to recover.
anonymous
9:06pm thursday, 10th january
u fucked up man.....
be strong
Julia Darkness
3:49am tuesday, 16th july
It seems like one of my bizarre nightmares, your entry, it doesn't take you very long to catch my interest. I've never done drugs before, for thousands of reasons, but you offer powerful insight.
maggie pie
3:34am friday, 19th july
wow
Xerxes
3:08am monday, 29th july
I've had quite a bit of experience, good, bad and indifferent with many substances including LSD, and I found your story to bring many of my own seemingly fucked up emotions/thoughts to light. Thanks for making my world a little less lonely...
perdition's flame
12:27am tuesday, 20th august
i've had an experience of attempted suicide where it seems as if God had saved me from myself. i've always questioned his existance but that's how he let me know he was there.just as he kept you from that bridge, he hid the tylenol from me.
maritza
3:17pm wednesday, 18th september
this may sound strange. but my friend told me it all started out after his first trip off acid. He has never been the same. I guess im just trying to figure him all out and reading your entry is helping me to do so.
Monica
1:35am thursday, 31st october
Just a quick not to let you know that god was with you that day my friend...and you know it too.I have had god with me that close that I could touch him without having to see him,I did.
chris
3:18pm friday, 8th november
thank god i'm not alone
JeN
2:21am monday, 3rd february
This drug amazes me...your mind is incredible....you have the answers to everything...
morrison
8:54pm tuesday, 4th february
the drug experience! My, what a wonder.
What ever this light was, i recommend that you find it out.
it seems that this entry has helped a lot of people...
must be for a reason!
could it be that you were born for a reason?
are all people born this way?
tia
3:32pm wednesday, 12th february
wow that story was intense, alls i ever did was smoke pot an eneded up in the hospital, my friends are getting into new drugs like "E" but not that i read this entry im not even thinking about trying any new drugs,im actually trying to get my friends out of all these drugs there boyfriends an so called other friends are introducing to them
morrison
6:50am sunday, 23rd february
alf will tell you...
puzli
5:19am saturday, 14th february
dude, never done more than pot, but when i did it, all i could hear was birds chirping from nowhere even when there were trucks passing me by...take care
peter millett
6:19pm wednesday, 7th april
from stands lengthy story we get 2 messages.
1. drugs are good. look at all the interesting things that happened to our boy- without them he would just be another boring bi-polar, freaking out about what his co-workers were saying about him, rather than having these collosal brushes with the divine. Bipolars snap in early adulthood, with or without drugs. drugs simply made Stands experience better.
2. acid isn't for everybody. (every trip I've had was "bad" but I certainly don't regret taking it) Seriously, I heard from others, people with a predisposition to parinoia shouldn't take L.
3. Drugs bring you closer to god. (another reason not to take them)
4. Weed is not a drug, its a condiment.
5. I take it back, weed has made me freak, too.
Stand, I hope you dont think i'm just being negative. I certainly don't advocate non-ritualized drug use, but I think bi-polar disorder is primarily a matter of genetic predisposition. ( correct me if i'm wrong. it's of intrest to me because I was in a relationship with a bi-polar gal. )
Katherleen
2:19pm sunday, 16th may
Others reading this will think twice before doing drugs thanks to your insight. I too take drugs, but for medical reasons. They help me to keep sane. Why try being insane...thats just so silly. I would give anything to give up my medication just for one day and to live a normal life. Gods "speed" be with you!
Kath
Nicole
7:14pm tuesday, 5th october
The only thing I did was pot, and it makes me SO paranoid. So, I don't do it often. But yes, that must have freaked you out!
illuminati
3:05am tuesday, 28th december
It sounds to me like you opened the doors of perception. there are different frequencies that the mind can tune into just like changing stations on the radio .Certain drugs or mental conditions can tune our minds into these frequencies. I believe you saw divine light. It was what your mind wanted you to see. I would rather have a mind opened with wonder than closed by belief.
newbie
12:47am monday, 7th march
i took two hits of acid and nothing happened. do you think it was fake acid? i felt more stoned than anything-and that could have been placebo. Is there such a thing as an acid immunity? How much would I have to take in order to "see things." Is it a good strategy to take a few hits each hour until the effects arrive?
Thanks for any advice. I'm new to this whole LSD thing, so every comment that falls my way is a learning opportunity, e.g., "Don't forget to burp." hehehe.
king
12:19am sunday, 1st may
Are you familiar with the writings of Calos Castaneda? His teacher proposed the ability of a human to change form. In the course of one of my acid trips, I spoke to my roommate(witness) that something "later" would happen. This was in the midst of me gazing into a 12 inch square mirror lying on the floor while I was standing above it. He was watching that area between my eyes and that mirror, and I felt some strange and common energy flowing through this intersection. He said he saw things both familiar and unfamiliar. This was when the words I spoke were foretelling of some "later" experience that I could not foresee, but I was not at all in fear of what had just transpired nor what was to come. I will tell the remainder of this story at some later time. For now, suffice it to say that my experience with my fellow humans seems quite like this extreme position of being a conduit for the world and its memories. These experiences seemed to follow from my own desire, but I don't quite understand why I have focused so much attention upon it. We all may be in concert with one another, but I can not deny my feelings, the physical responses to my thoughts in response to themself, or to others'. Some voice in my awareness seems to be checking my activity. Enough fo now.
bristol
A. N. Mous
anonymous
Julia Darkness
Xerxes
JeN