I am sometimes numb. There are days when I feel nothing, when I don't want to feel anything, when time passes and I am unaware — when I want nothing, yet it is not to be content. No, it is no happiness, no calmness of the passions; it is one shade closer to death than perhaps is wise to enter into. A thousand eagles could screech just above me, and I would scarce look up to see the spectacle. It is like what Limbo must be, if there is such a place: not so much comfortable, but detached from all feeling, like being behind a wall of warm air. If this happens, I know I will come to my senses the next day or so — nothing really to worry about. It's just that sometimes, my senses have been inflamed too much, just needing a small period not to feel so much, not to have to fire so hot.
Rich
9:23am monday, 29th march
A step back from feeling is wise, however, get caught in that perpetual state and you will find its hell.. but i guess you already know. Numbness to carelessness, carelessness to apathy, apathy to being self centered, self centered to loathing of self, by then you fall from all communication and feeling, and are dragged into a whirlpool to hell.
mirage
7:54pm monday, 29th march
sad
Hope
10:05pm wednesday, 31st march
i stumbled on your site while i was researching schizophrenia, i wanted you to know that your writing is beautiful. I feel numb as well sometimes. there r times when i just cant feel.
Rich
mirage