(Continuing from here...) I was kicked out after my sophomore year because of my grades. Academic suspension for one year. I got a job, didn't trip that much. There's other stuff, but I'll get into that later. I went back to college for my junior year, and this leads up to the onset of my schizophrenia. I was living in a single, I had lots of LSD, lots of pot (though I wasn't dealing so much this year), and the last part of the puzzle, lots of porn.
Junior year was all about how intensely I could get myself off. I had a girlfriend that year, but just about every weekend, I would look on alt.sex.pictures (this was before the www), download a couple, decode them in my room, drop some acid, smoke some pot, and have cataclysmic orgasms. Freud believed that all your basic mental problems were sexual in origin. I can't find him wrong, because, looking back, I could see myself sinking into the madness, right up to the summer of that year — no break for my brain that year, like the previous, when I went back to my parents' and didn't trip — and when I felt something psychically snap. There's more to this, of course, but this sums up what would lead to my madness.
karla
1:51am friday, 31st august
You could orgasm while tripping?
i always became distracted by...something else...anything...cracks in the cinderblock wall...voices (real voices in the next room)...
karla