What am I missing? Is there some simple truth out there that I'm just not getting, which upon knowing, would make my life so much the more livable? I have thought, and thought, and thought, and several times, I have felt on the brink of some fundamental principle about the way things are, and the way things seem — but always, on the brink. These are words on the tip of my tongue that I have never said before, just out of reach of the hand of my imagination, my mind grasping at dreamlike darkness; could someone please push me over the top of the hill? Or is my thinking in this primarily flawed, and what I believe is merely a conceptual centimeter out of my reach is like the end of the rainbow, the edge of the horizon — something that can never be attained? Perhaps it is neither: that I know it somewhere, already, the thing I search for. If I were to seize the will o' the wisp that eludes me, maybe it would be a saying I heard in my childhood, one I have tried to live up to all these years....
