At times, I desire much, these days. There are fifteen directions I may go on any given day, to pursue each one a different track, to become awhirl in any one of them a storm. It is hard to have so many dreams: there is no time to get much headway in any one of them, when another pulls you in quite a different direction. I have dabbled in this or that fancy of mine, and where I have gone to any depth, it is quite the case that for every ten steps in, I must retract eight of them, and so even there I have not penetrated very deeply past the surface. Yes, to strike while the fire is hot — that is preferable, no? Yet these fires — are all of them profitable to me? Shall I wait a few of them out, to see which ones are most hardy, which ones have enough coal to last them through the completion of their quests?
Then there is the fact that there always seems to be something new that comes along. One just happened to, last week, in fact, and I am not sure quite what to make of it. Is it a passing fancy? — though, I must say, that the dreams I have had for the most part don't die, but rather mutate form... until sometimes they are quite unrecognizable from their original incarnation. I fear I shall get nothing done, that on the day I die, there will be fifteen sets of plans that are buried with me, all interesting ideas that never lifted a centimeter off the ground. Alas. I may say, though, that the one thing I do not desire is the end of any of my desires. I know what it is like to want nothing of this world, staring blankly at the walls. These are all blessings, whether I want them or not: dream after dream after dream.
faerie goddess
6:29am wednesday, 16th june
Ahhh....your entries of insanity are seducing me down memory lane..i may, for a moment, miss being manically psychotic with mutlitudinous thinking and simultaneous thought patterns that spiral into the most intricate and delicate of patterns. Connextions and coincidence; sychronicity and symbolism.....dream fusing with reality, or the other way around: who knows?
faerie goddess