There will be no more posts here, I don't think. This was, this is, a blog of my madness, my schizophrenia and manic depression: this is what you expect, and I think I can't give you that anymore. I don't want to. Doubtless, it has been great therapy for me to get much of what I have written off my chest, but I feel I have done it enough. This patient is graduating. I alluded to this in yesterday's poem: I mean what I say in it, that there is a deeper voice within me that wants to speak, not one of madness, but one of experience, one of thought. This is not what you paid your admission for, so to speak, to hear me ramble about this philosophy and that (notice how they've been about that kind of thing lately?). I know, I always have had a philosophical bent, but this is a more serious calling in that regard, and that is all I want to do, more or less. No more stuff about psychosis. No more ditties on mental illness. Not that I will ever be 100% recovered, but I am secure enough, now, that I am close enough for all purposes concerned. I am moving on.
Along this long, strange road I have carved, some people have been kind enough to say that I, and this site, give them hope. Great thanks to you. If perhaps you came for such comfort, I think there is enough here, still, that may just accommodate you. Even this last post, here, is a message of hope. This is to tell you that I have recovered enough to think of myself as "sane", however vague that word may be. I have learned that I can, and have, affected this world. So, I want to do it in a meaningful way, and I think I need to do this elsewhere. This place was good to me, a sturdy home to grow up in, but I feel I am outgrowing it, now. No more wading in the shallow waters — I am ready to take the plunge into the outer sea.
Who knows? There may come a time when my madness overtakes me once again. I hope not, but it exists as a possibility. In that event, perhaps I shall return to write more of my therapeutic ciphers. But I really wouldn't count on it; I have made something of a truce with my mind. So, like the title says, this is it. Farewell, so long, and thanks for all the fish.
kittie
6:35am saturday, 3rd july
I'm so sad that you're not going to be posting anymore. I've been coming to your site for more than a year and I'm really going to miss all your writings. I feel like I almost know you. I wish you luck in life.
JASMINE
11:01pm tuesday, 6th july
I'M SAD TO SEE YOU GO,BUT THE REASON YOU
ARE GOING GIVES MY HEART HOPE FOR YOU,&
MY SON,&SO MANY OTHERS.I WILL ALWAYS AD-
MIRE YOUR COURAGE,YOUR KINDNESS,YOUR ABILITY TO EXPRESS THE FEELINGS THE WAY
YOU.YOUR WORDS HAVE GIVEN ME COMFORT WHEN NO ONE ELSE COULD.HOW CAN I THANK YOU FOR THAT?IF IT'S ALRIGHT WITH YOU, I
WOULD LIKE TO SHARE YOU WRITINGS WITH MY
DOCTOR.YOU WILL ALWAYS BE IN MY PRAYERS&
THOUGHTS.I HOPE GOD CONTINUES TO SMILE ON YOU IN YOUR RECOVERY.I'M BLESSED TO HAVE FOUND YOUR WRITINGS.GOD BLESS YOU
ALWAYS.I'LL CONTINUE TO GO TO THE ARCHIVES AS LONG AS I CAN.I KEEP THESE WORDS NEAR ME.I GUESS YOU CAN TELL I PRINT THEM.AGAIN,GOD BLESS YOU& THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART.
nikita
1:02pm wednesday, 7th july
""This was, this is, a blog of my madness, my schizophrenia and manic depression: this is what you expect, and I think I can't give you that anymore""
...but personaly, I never expected that, and i think that hardly we ever got it. but it's understandable that you want to put your energy into something more fulfilling, a sort of the thing that is not in this 'medicaly pre-approved' frame.
still, thank you for making this site. i wish you a good life!
bart
10:24pm wednesday, 7th july
thanks for h13 , wish you good times
myraj
8:37pm tuesday, 20th july
well good luck to ya in the "outer sea" you will be missed. I'm happy to read that you are moving on. with love
Myranda
x
6:12pm friday, 23rd july
Great news but also sad to see you go! Have a fantastic rest of your life.
lydia
6:15pm saturday, 24th july
Life is like a continuous Circle, the Principle upon which the city is builded. If thou dost create That which is like unto thy "Source" and knoweth His Love and Peace within thee, if thou useth thy Powers of Creation to bless only, then as thou dost move around thy circle of existence, thou wilt know the Joy of Life, and unto It shall be added Greater Joy. If thou dost not create like thy "Source", thine evil shall return unto thee with more of its kind. Thou alone chooseth thy destiny, and thou alone answereth to thy God for thy use of "Life"- thy Being
St.Germain
me
8:23pm saturday, 24th july
i really don't think "builded" is a word. But on a serious note; I will miss you and you have made a huge difference in the lives of many people (as if it isn't obvious).good luck on your journey. i hope that you make the same difference out there as you have here.
amanda
5:23am friday, 27th august
ever since i did a project on depression, found this site, and then "developed" depression myself, i visited this site when i felt alone. i know this site isnt really about depression anyway, but for some reason it still helps me out to read your writings. somehow they make me feel not alone. i dont know why! haha. i know im posting this after youve gone on to post a few more times, but i wanted to add to the comments anyway. thank you so much for this site you have no idea how it has helped me.
Kyle
3:55pm friday, 17th september
Indeed, one must travel a road not yet traveled. Indeed..
kittie
nikita
myraj
x
me