I’m back for right now. I made the mistake of trying to cut out my meds (Zyprexa), when I was low, first cutting them into halves and quarters, then stopping taking them altogether. The results were not pleasant. Fortunately, I haven’t done anything stupid yet (though in my madness’ logic, that may not be the case), and I am back on my medication. The psychosis was an old one, that I was the Antichrist, and damned forevermore. The cartoon angels in my head got me believing that again, along with a mock-up of Satan. I still think a little that I may be the son of perdition. The only thing that’s getting me through this is my faith in Jesus Christ. I pray, and it helps to ease the suffering. Yes, it’s sometimes somewhat painful when these dark visions occur — on the inside. That truce I had with my mind didn’t last very long, although, to be honest, I wasn’t that far gone this time. Or should I say, not that far gone right now. It’s still live, in my head. Anyway, I think I might be posting sporadically with updates about how I’m doing.
Mark
8:17am monday, 26th july
I just discovered your page today ... you seem to be a very intelligent person that is fits the mould of trying to balance genius and madness.
I hope you have a good day today ... remember we are the only species that really has any idea what we did last yr, last month or yesterday. Stay present, keepyour faith and don't move too quickly whereby your thoughts are so caughtup in your moment.
I will say a prayer for you tonight.
Mark
Stand