I always feel like I’m behind. That there is just so much catching up I have to do, that I will never be able to be where I’m supposed to be. It comes, probably, from having spent my twenties mostly in a psychotic quasicatatonia, or in a mental institution, or high. I only really got going when I was thirty, and from then on, it’s been rush rush rush. “I dream of the person I might have been,” says a song by Jefferey Gaines (“Hero in Me”). Indeed, the person I could have grown up into, had I made the right choices in life. But this is me, this is how I turned out — and at least I have joined the race. (Human race?) I am now full of ideas and have only two hands to make anything of them, full of inspiration and only twenty-four hours in the day to achieve anything. I do spend some hours relaxing, but often these are riddled with a sort of guilt. Perhaps I want too much. But I feel much was given me, and so, much is expected.
Benny
7:36am wednesday, 22nd december
Hey man, cool site. I did a search for "Black Iron Prison" and read of your experiences in escaping. Good stuff. I make hip hop music, I'm from Boston. Check out my website: http://www.theflowingofthedao.com
Benny