What I am lacking, I know the Lord will fill. I don't think I can even remember how I felt back then, when all I was full of was the emptiness. I don't think I remember how I felt when I was lost. I remember Jesus in my head asked me, "What do you want?", and I couldn't think, couldn't think of anything that I truly wanted: "I don't know." And He said, "That means you're lost."
I may never solve the mystery of what truly went on with all the cartoons and voices in my head. Yes, psychosis, but of a caliber which helped me through some tough times. Like I said a couple weeks back, I feel sane again; I've had the breakthrough. Before that day, I wanted dearly to be a prophet, and I was afraid I was the Antichrist, but now the former doesn't seem so important, the latter nowhere near so certain.
I am back to a normal life. I'm researching a project of mine, which I won't go into (it's computer related), and I'm looking for a job. And the Lord Jesus Christ is watching over this poor fool who wanted always his cup to overflow.
fur
3:57am friday, 9th november
if i believed in god and all that i would agree w/ you. theres a part of me that does b/c i too am lost but i dont look to anyone for comfort.
Stand
4:16am friday, 9th november
Let me tell you, it's a great comfort in having God with you, someone who understands just everything you're going through. I personally would never have made it without God being there.
fur
Stand