These numbers, any of the numbers that pop up during the day — they still have energy to them. Not quite as much power as they once did, back in the heyday of my madness, but I find myself still uncomfortable when the odd “666” comes up. And too, “777” is an omen of beneficence, no matter what else is happening around me. I know, and have ever known, very little of numerology, but that did not stop me from making my own meanings to numbers back when — 1991, I’m pretty sure it was, right when I had just snapped. I went from 0 to 11, and I don’t remember what all of them were, but some I still keep around in my head, still ascribe some meager meaning when they appear: 1 for God, 3 for love, 8 for infinity, 9 for reality. And then there are other ones I have since picked up: 4 for death (it’s an Asian form of 13), 18 for life (based, I believe, on Kabbalah), 26 for the name of God (again, Kabbalah), 62 for the apocalypse (not quite sure how that one happened — or should I say, long story), 11 for (variously) the two witnesses of the apocalypse or to the nth degree or luck (a second “7”), and 33 for freedom or victory or "great things" (from the age of our Lord when resurrected).
Then, there’s 15. That has an interesting history, of having gone from a sign of woe to a sigil of weal. When I was 17, 18 or so, I read Tarot. I was taught by a really cool teacher I had in high school. So, anyway, 15 of the major arcana is the card of the Devil. So, during my original, peak madness, 15 I associated with that card, so, it was a bad thing. Then, a few years ago, I discovered that 15 had a quite different meaning in (again) Kabbalah. It’s another number for God, from the shortened “Yah” instead of the full “Yahweh” (which is 26, above). So, I began associating 15 with “Yah”, and I turned it around. That number is now a good thing. But anyway, let’s just say that the numbers still “glow” to me. I would rather they not, that they be as they once did, 6 not be bad, 7 not heavenly. But you take the good with the bad. It’s not so terrible. You will, however, notice that of all these entries, almost none end with a timestamp that ends in 6. Yep. That’s on purpose.
Stand
1:19pm friday, 4th march
I looked through some past months, and noticed more 6's at the end of timestamps than I had thought I let through. But they are special cases: 26, described above, doesn't count. Neither does 9:16, because (neurotically), 9 cancels out the 6. I did find a 7:46, and I'm not sure about that one....
me?!
6:16pm friday, 4th march
I still very much enjoy reading what you type on this site. It came to mind when I relized I've been keeping an eye with how you 'recover' for a long time. Thank you for sharing.
Strawberry
2:41am sunday, 6th march
I have a necklace that I never take off. It is a thin white gold chain with a charm. The charm is the number nine. By chance, the engagement ring my fiance gave me has nine sapphires in it. But that is not why I wear the number nine.
About six months ago I came across a book, "The Book of Thoth" by Aleister Crowley. He writes like a madman. Dense imagry loosely connected. This book is his interpretation of the Tarot deck. I sometimes ask myself questions. With this book in hand, I asked myself, "what is my favorite number?" and nine came to my head. Perhaps because of my newly aquired ring. Perhaps because when I was a child I loved the number 3 the best but now that I am grown the complexity of 3x3 suits me better. So I looked to find what Crowley had to say about nine. And, to me, the flow of my life was revealed. This number is the dynamic that is my life.
I hold the book in my hand. "The Nine of Wands is called Strength...Of all important doctrines concerning equilibrium, this is the easiest to understand, that change is stability; that stability is guaranteed by change; that if anything should stop changing for the fraction of a split second, it would go to pieces...This card is a sort of elementary parable to illustrate the meaning of this aphorism; "Change is Stability"....The Nine of Cups is called Happiness....The Nine of Swords is called Cruelty...it is agony of mind....The Nine of Disks is called Gain...it does not worry its head about whether anything is won when all is won...it purrs with satisfaction at having harvested what it sowed; it rubs its hands and sits at ease."
I wear the number nine because it soothes me to think about the mystery of my life. Strength, Cruelty, Happiness and Gain - these are the themes of what my life has been and I meditate on how my future will continue along the lines of this dynamic.
What I understand the least is Cruelty. Schizophrenia creates mental conditions of torment and as I am often happy and content to make art and love and be loved I do too hate myself and kill myself slowly....but that is all an internal manifestation of the cruelty of the number nine. Externally is the husband who loved me who I left, the friend who toppled into madness when I left, and my fiance says that I can say cruel things, to which I always answer him, "but, do I lie?". I think that my future holds the potential for cruelty to others if I tell society the truth of what I see. I have matured enough to the point where I do not purposefully inflict mental pain on others for the fun of whatching chaos....but I think that being truthful,....this can be a blow that breaks a mind and then challenges it to reassemble the pieces in a better order.
1whoknows
11:12pm monday, 7th march
Stop using your minds so much, eternity is such a long time.........
Last_Rites
2:30am monday, 4th april
ive been noticing connections between numbers, words and events not just in my life but in everything that i see. the way time progreses fluidly has something to do with a high complexity of peoples thoughs or unconsioness pickigng up on these and adding it together and such to make new events words and numbers for us all to see. sometimes i think i can make changes, if its all linked somehow whats done is done but there is ways to predict what will happen and to make happen what we will to happen. im out of my depth at the moment, cant explain it well enough. i feel it. anyone?
Jade Hykmann Drake
8:00am thursday, 14th april
Hey. My favourite number is 8. It rocks!
Peace out guys. Btw whoever created this site, thankyou very much. You provided me with some inspiration for my project for shcool about the meaning of numbers. ( i didn't copy btw)
Stand
Last_Rites