I have thought that I have glimpsed the unseen horror behind it all. Although I have never read the works of H. P. Lovecraft, I think I know the gist behind his type of horror tale — because I have seen a little of it, in my madness. It involves Cthulhu, which was not the most powerful of the elder gods in Lovecraft’s stories, but probably the most famous of them. Anyway, in my madness, I awoke him. (“It” is actually probably a more correct appellation, but most people use “him”.) Those stories are about how in secret corners of the world, that there is madness, a horror, on an unimaginable scale. That there were once elder gods who were the worst sort of unholy evil, beyond any reckoning of what that might mean to we mere mortals, and that just to catch one brief sight of them is to become insane. So the story goes. I was insane, anyway, at the time, so I guess it didn’t matter so much for me.
In any event, it happened just so: I was in Korea, back in 1994, staying at my aunt’s house. I was still smoking cigarettes at the time, so I was in their garage, smoking. And I don’t know who it was of the ones floating around in my head that triggered it, but I heard the sound as of a gate opening, and it was as if the veil of reality were lifting. And I remember staring at a plain, orange bicycle, and as the veil, as of the reality was uncovered what was below it, I saw the frame begin to twist out tentacles of flame, flame burning with unholy pain: the head of Cthulhu; everything around me began to unravel in hideous convulsing horror. But just for a moment, thank God in His mercy. Just as soon as it started, it stopped, and everything was back to normal. But it was an experience I will not forget — ever.
I wonder now, if Lovecraft had anything like that in mind. If some people’s imagination was that good, that they could envisage such things. Something in me could, at any rate, for my eyes beheld the unholy. Such is in the reaches madness, I think — a glimpse of the darkness.
Reflection
7:25pm wednesday, 29th june
If all is energy, then even the worst evil is sustained by its creator.With meditation, you silence your mind, and everything around you, therefore you may reach a place of no evil, no good.
Reflection
10:20pm wednesday, 29th june
I admire your perseverance through it all. I used to wear ear plugs, when it was really severe,but you can't believe every word you hear.I believe you have a honest defense against God, and you have to tell it like it is(so to speak ).Nobody loves a kiss ass.
reflection
10:58pm wednesday, 29th june
Its not my mess, its your mess.
Eric
11:46pm wednesday, 29th june
I was a fool. Was.
Reflection
11:48pm wednesday, 29th june
You ever see america has eric in the middle of it.
reflection
12:27am thursday, 30th june
You sing a good song, but your heart says different.
beekeeper
12:24pm monday, 11th july
Hey I like this one! I think I may see what you were attempting to raise here. Im new so I dont know. What we take as evil may torment us, another may look on from a distance and see the divine in such works and situations. I had a terrifying night once also. While noises creeked outside on the porch and coming from a close by garage. And off to the side I suddenly noticed Satan apparition at my door, his presence lurking and interfering. That one could not be mistaken as divine, that's real evil there. The more frightening thing about this is, it actually happened. Id heard these sounds at the garage the night before and had brought a knife into the room "just in case". Eventually I gathered the courage, leaped out of bed, grabbed the knife and lunged at Satan. I turned around staring at the shadow of a pianata, of all things. Instead I took the medications that I had decided not to take. Happy little sun faced pianita. Yet imagination carried this away. Expounded upon and built from a single clunk that for some reason caught my attention.
Also for you, Reflection. You can ever make numerous thought provoking statements.
I use to meditate on that very thought. That all is energy. and all energy is a form of sound waves. Sometimes wishing for silence seems the best solution. Give up and let the world take over. Whats the point in perservering right? (btw, I wear earphones all the time)
but isnt it amazing how beautiful some horrors are? How God leads us through this all. In numerous ways. Whether for good or bad. I know God leads me. I know this. I also know that what we focus on, we become. Find the encouragement, and TURN AWAY from evil. I want you to believe in me. Theres real beauty out there. I wish you would lead yourself to it. This H13 person appears to be led by both. A great combination of pain and hidden hope.
Again,Reflection,... Though this time I stand in your door now, and so many thoughts come. no more preaching, no more trying. Simply, what are you gonna create?
Reflection 7:25pm wednesday, 29th june
If all is energy, then even the worst evil is sustained by its creator.With meditation, you silence your mind, and everything around you, therefore you may reach a place of no evil, no good.
Reflection