I am a little pooped from my full-time job, so this is a little break; here is a picture to look at.
I have posted this before — the doomsday clock that never rang.
You can click on this one to get a larger version. For your staring pleasure.
Reflection
1:56am friday, 12th august
What happened to the last doomsday clock?
reflection
3:04am friday, 12th august
Yeah, once you get it!
reflection
3:05am friday, 12th august
Much suffering.
Webster
10:08pm friday, 12th august
I guess that I have been taking it easy too, these last weeks, realizing just how emotionally exhausting it has been recently being with my extended family. For those relatives who are supportive, there are those who brutally critical, demoralizing and quick to point out to me all that I am not.
To make matters worse, my magazine that is filled with inspirational stories of people overcoming mental illness and accomplishing wonderful things arrived, and succeeded in making me very sad by comparison.
These days, I have been even more socially withdrawn. Most people at work just believe that I am painfully shy. I have been without any active psychotic symptoms for over four years. Just one drink of alcohol would start up the craziness.
The wanna-be scientist in me would like to know the relationship between substance abuse and the increase in symptoms. Why do substances give the appearance of helping to stop the craziness, while at the same time make things worse? It took me years to understand how diliterious this was, almost paradoxical.
Now I have not touched alcohol or anything else for years and have no symptoms. My co-workers try to include me socially, but their plans usually involve alcohol. They nickname me "the saint" because of my shyness and refusals. Not being able to drink limits me socially even further.
Living and working with the normals can be exhausting. Some of my own family memebers are quick to point out to me recently how any talent or good looks that I may have is wasted because of my illness.
I will stop feeling sorry for myself and leave with a quote from my magazine.
"Take the first step in faith.
You don't have to see the
whole staircase, just take
the first step."
-Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
Reflection
11:19pm sunday, 14th august
Eternity is a long time.Obviously your parents and friends don't believe in it.Welcome to the club.There's plenty of time to refine ones talents.
Reflection
12:02am monday, 15th august
"I used to care, but things have changed".I quote Bob Dylan.
Reflection
12:03am monday, 15th august
No truer words were ever spoken.Off to the next world.
suzanne
9:17pm friday, 2nd september
I, but for the grace of God, don't suffer from mental illness, however, my doomsday clock never rang either.
Reflection