The tumblers lock into place, and what has happened, now is.
The moment only lasts as long as you do not let go, and then,
you still cannot stop the rest of the world from walking away.
Reflection
1:15am tuesday, 23rd august
You ever get in that moment, when you really feel like your totally in the matrix.I'll give you an example, since its really hard to explain.Say, I'll pick up the guitar and start playing a song say,"stairway to heaven"just for example.Then I'll walk in the living room and someone on the television will mention that song,just as I'm walking by.Then I would turn on the radio and that song would be playing.This is just an example of how I feel sometimes about that right moment when you sort of melt in with the matrix.It use to really freak, me out,but I sort of think its funny, now that I know there are greater powers.I'm waiting for your stories.......Ever get Deja Vu in the same place twice?Now thats creepy.
Reflection
1:18am tuesday, 23rd august
Strawberry, You're not supposed to know about the red wings.
reflection
1:30am tuesday, 23rd august
I really can't believe this.I looked up red wings on the search engine.Red-wings.com
Stand
2:15am tuesday, 23rd august
Yes, Reflection, I have gotten that "Matrix" feeling; I wrote about it here.
Reflection
3:04am tuesday, 23rd august
Yeah, like you're on the verge of understanding the real true blue truth,and everythings gonna be revealed in its true nature,and then like every freakin, f*^kin time,it just all falls apart.I kinda envision the gods like the movie Clash of the Titans,just playing games,back and forth.Hey, what can you do?
Strawberry
3:06pm tuesday, 23rd august
God talks to me when I am being good. But when I am lazy and not doing the work that he would like me to do he says nothing. No signs. Reality doesn't link in encouraging ways.
God would let me ruin and waste my life if I really wanted it. He's generous that way.
I wonder why he has let me live for so long. No car accidents, no cancer. He just keeps on letting me live, waiting for me to make a move.
Deja vu? The Matrix? Nope.
Strawberry
3:10pm tuesday, 23rd august
I keep saying "Tommorow I will live better."
Strawberry
3:23pm tuesday, 23rd august
Sorry. Just in a bad mood.
reflection
9:10pm tuesday, 23rd august
I'm curious.To anyone.How long do you think it would take yourself to become holy?Not just for a day or week or month, but forever.
reflection
9:18pm tuesday, 23rd august
My new song is called Dance for the Cobras.That ought to get them hindus runnin.........
Stand
11:51pm tuesday, 23rd august
Holiness: I think that that depends not on you, but God. The apostle Paul, for instance, it took just a blast of light, and he was changed forever. Most people never get there.
Reflection
12:18am wednesday, 24th august
Once you recieve the blast of light,it gets extremely harder from there.I recieved the blast of light, and the next day I still jerked off to a porno mag.Although for about 6 or 7 yrs. I've done nothing but meditation.With schizo.I would figure from my own experience with schizo,its necessary.
reflection
12:20am wednesday, 24th august
It all comes down to control.And God won't admit that.
reflection
12:24am wednesday, 24th august
I'm gonna stay holy, til the popes admit their innocents.
tishy_53
5:28am wednesday, 24th august
I'm really new to this. Chat room thing. When I first read about SEDZ, It said People with this disorder see or feel things others (Im assuming nonskizo)can't. I have always had premonitions. Not always but alot. I just figured that is the extra help some of us need.
Strawberry
2:12pm wednesday, 24th august
About deja vu & premonitions. I think that both are normal, and both are strong hints about the nature of reality. Fate and destiny do exist.
Probably it is well worth the effort to become holy. The benefits are;
1. you never feel alone or lonely
2. you love what you have and don't want more
3. you aren't scared of death or other people's opinions anymore
4. madness (or schizophrenia) works FOR you rather than AGAINST you.
Holy in one religion is not holy in another religion. Holy in one society is not holy in another society. Remember that many Islamic suicide terroists and their families believe that their actions have earned them a place in heaven. Holy can mean complete withdrawl from the world into contemplation, or just the opposite, extreme behavior that affects a large number of people. I think that a state of holiness takes the mind outside patterns of learned behavior. So the person is unchained and free, and what happens is behavior that is, at first, difficult to comprehend. Many years ago I read in the newspaper a reprint of a speech given by the newly freed Nelson Mandela. At the time I said to my psychiatrist that the man was either crazy or, I guess, holy. Radical, earth shaking points of view don't just suddenly occure in a flash of light. There has to be preparation. And usually the preparation entails pain and loss.
I once was eating lunch at a McDonalds. Next to our table was a small family, the parents with a young daughter. This girl was friendly and, years later, I still remember her face. You see there was immediately, something very odd about her. Her body seemed tiny in proportion to her head but more, it was really hard to pin an age on her. And I say this with all honesty, her face glowed. I don't go nuts over kids. But this kid, boy, did she just suck you in. Her parents told us that she spent almost the entire first three years of her life in the hospital. Cancer? Surgeries? I don't know what was so very wrong physically but you know that kid was stuck with needles like she was a pin cushion. A mind that young had learn how to endure pain after physical pain. By now she is a late teen or young adult and I don't know if the ease of life has moved her mind and body to a place more ordinary, like you and I.
I think that because I am an artist, and need tremendously to create, I will forever be excused from being holy. I walk in the light of the human condition, not the pure light of the divine. It is significant that Jesus did not write, nor Buddha. My mind is chained to color pigment and perhaps the written word. This limits me. I put on this earth "things". Becoming consumed in the creative process is the closest I will ever get to being holy. I concider myself lucky just to get that close. A good artist will give the culture insight into the human mind. We can even make observations about the relationship of the human mind to God. Shakespear was accurate and inspired. Van Gogh gave us a new kind of beauty. But I don't think either man would concider themselves holy. We artists, we creators, we are greedy for the sensations of color and form, and we are greedy for the thrill of the creative process. We are too greedy to be holy.
reflection
9:04pm wednesday, 24th august
Tishy 53, Welcome to Stands nuthouse.Once you enter you can't leave.
Reflection
reflection
Stand