There are times when I am very directed, very focused, and there is no question why I am on this planet: there is merely the action, the thought, the purpose; and I do not even ask myself if I am happy or not, because there is nothing else that intrudes into my motion. Then there are moments of introspection, when I — well, not exactly falter — but pause in my going, and I wonder why am I doing what I’m doing, is this the way I should be going, what was that purpose, again? I mean, dreaming may be one thing, but as the saying goes, if a plan does not automatically degenerate into hard work, it’s just a fantasy. But in that frantic drive to do everything all at once, it might be that there was something in the original dreaming of it all that made you want to commit all those hours to it in the first place, which if you’re not careful, may get lost in the shuffle. Or maybe you had no original why — and you want one, now, especially since you’ve spent so many resources so far.
Reasons to be for the things in your life surely make the reason to be for your life easier to manage. And that which you do is a thing, a thing in motion, a push in a certain direction, but an abstract thing is still a thing. But I for one like to step back, sometimes, as far back as I can go, and really ask why. And it usually comes down to one question: does this (or will this) help people? (“Me” is included implicitly in the “people”.) For the antithesis must be true to Lucifer’s cry in Paradise Lost, that it must be the greater thing to serve in Heaven than to rule in Hell: how does what I do serve the common good, in whatever proximity it is relevant to? And when I ask this, I usually find an answer for myself. It is an interesting exercise. Not everyone plays by these rules, I know, but these are the tests that I must apply every once in a while just to know that I am not only sane, but on the right side. Falling from grace, after all, is not usually a one time hurtle — but a thousand little slips.
Reflection
9:45pm tuesday, 13th december
Stand, Where do you see yourself in five billion years? I see myself in a complete state of perfection, peace, and silence.No computers, no noise, just bliss.Whats the difference between now, and five billion years?
Stand
12:34am wednesday, 14th december
Reflection, I don't even know what I'll be doing later today.
Reflection
9:37pm thursday, 15th december
Ahh, if life could only be so easy.
Reflection
10:29pm thursday, 15th december
Imagine a God that cares.Then Imagine me.(You might figure that one out in a second or a zillion years.)
Reflection
10:46pm thursday, 15th december
Thanks for the devil, thanks for wars, thanks for everything.The wool missed my eyes.Lone Wolfs HowwwwwwwwwLLLLL.
reflection
10:52pm thursday, 15th december
Theres no place like, theres no place like, theres no place like.The end.
Reflection
Stand