Things go too well
for me to wax truly poetic;
who reads the words of the happy poet?
Mostly, people might desire to
smack him across the face
and force him to go on about how depressing
all these things called living imply;
be miserable like the rest of us.
So rare the verse
about the glee of sitting still
and not feeling
as if he need justify his existence;
where is it written
that the meaning of life
is to find happiness? Too obvious.
But I cannot scrape the dregs
of the emotional barrel
every single moment — it is too exhausting
to feel so much all the time.
Let me float, just a few moments,
a non-manic euphoria
that comes from having done
a hard day’s worthy work;
that makes you feel like a human being,
when so often you have felt
as if you were a convoluted alien
thrust upon an alien world.
I don’t care if I’ve earned it or not,
because I can argue either way;
no questions, please:
you’re scaring off the sunshine.
debb
5:03am thursday, 9th march
I Thought
I saw darkness in your face
and thought you were the depths
of space and time
moving through emptiness
You moved as the breath of fog
wrapping around my fingers
teasing and playing with my senses
bringing my laughter
With laughter I saw you in the light
as a spring of water
breaking in upon my soul
bubbling with exuberance
In this heard your voice
And thought it called my name
And spoke of knowing
The truth of my being
And there becoming the earth
in which I placed the seed of love
from which all that I become
is created.
Reflection
9:57pm thursday, 9th march
When time stops and all is done, those who have walked in shoes of stone, will carry on.
Strawberry
11:15pm friday, 10th march
I think you just got poetically flirted with, Stand.
A hard days work makes me feel good and human too. And I really like the ending.
Stand, do you ever wonder what kind of a dad you would make? I mean, since your family is planning for you to produce the heir, do you ever wonder about the fun of it (besides the duty of it). Do you think your schizophrenia would affect your relation to your son? Thinking positively here, that you don't have four girls first. Ha ha!
My husband and I are thinking about becoming foster parents with the hopes of adopting. I'm talking to a social worker this Monday. If we pass the home study, we definately want a girl.
Someday you may be writing poems about your child smiling up at you.
Stand
5:14am saturday, 11th march
It's a scary thought, but I actually have been getting a little practice; my cousin's kids live upstairs, a boy of 5 and a girl of 2, and I'm actually really good with them. I'm the "fun uncle". Though they do tire me out... I guess that's the only thing I'm really worried about. I wish I were a little younger. Or in better shape.
debb
Stand