I have tried to keep to the quiet places. I have shunned the full blast of the open sunlight, to keep only to when the light shies away toward twilight. Part of it is that I was told by larger voices that there is a choice you can make, that you can keep to the rapid and loud, or that you may choose instead where the flow of the world stills into a tranquil hush. And it seemed to me that the latter was what I was to try and do, to live like unto a way of zen, and not to light my candle at both ends, however lovely a light that might shine, however much I had before all my troubles started thought of myself that I could handle maximum speed on the fast lane. But perhaps it is time to re-examine the course that I have been traveling; perhaps it was that the manner of my traveling was what was not to be followed, that I am ready again to enter the full stream.
It is a thrill, to be sure, that such a velocity will bring to the senses; although I am not yet in the full blast, I hover around the edge of the speed, sniff the rushing current, and consider what it might be that I would be asking of myself if I were to leap inside. For the last time I thought I could go faster than its quickness, it was, to use the pop culture metaphor, it was through the easy path of the dark side of the force. Sex, drugs, rock ’n’ roll, the old spell, and I did not consider that it would overrun me, which it did. Now, instead of such a reckless and headlong dive, I come through the light side: work, work, and more work. Patience, effort, thought: I have kept to the good, and I did not take the easy way this time. I need only now the courage that I can make it, suddenly into the current, to swim for my life. For to halfway enter is to miss it all. All or none.
Reflection
8:55pm tuesday, 25th july
I would be very afraid to be succesful in this world.
reflection
10:29pm tuesday, 25th july
It is over. Don't try to fool me.
Stand
11:23pm tuesday, 25th july
Nothing is over! Long live the revolution!
Er... I'll sit down now.
reflection
12:12am wednesday, 26th july
Your purpose is to meditate.
reflection
1:27am wednesday, 26th july
My friend, his father killed himself by a train.Thats the kinda people.
reflection
1:28am wednesday, 26th july
To kill onesfelf by a train..................................................................................................................................
Reflection
Stand