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| april 2009 |
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| the painting | 3:44am tuesday, 28th april |
the painting shouts with light
heaven bleeding blue
choirs in soundless chords held me
skin of blistering desire
fathomless depths were beneath the canvas
and the paintbrush catches fire
extinguished by the eyes of innocents
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| invisible world | 1:57am friday, 24th april |
the invisible world calls to me, but i am not them
and the fear of being swallowed i have fought long, hard against it
i know it to be true: it takes more than thought to cancel me
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| Quotes, Baby | 1:05am monday, 20th april |
The only way to make a man trustworthy is to trust him.
– Henry Stimson
I finally figured out the only reason to be alive is to enjoy it.
– Rita Mae Brown
Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.
– Erica Jong
Few people can see genius in someone who has offended them.
– Robertson Davies
Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted.
– Martin Luther King Jr.
The folly of mistaking a paradox for a discovery, a metaphor for a proof, a torrent of verbiage for a spring of capital truths, and oneself for an oracle, is inborn in us.
– Paul Valery
Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them?
– Abraham Lincoln
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| Saved | 2:59am thursday, 16th april |
I had a dream, where angels talked to me, or rather, more like whispers. Where suddenly, the nature of the world changed right from underneath me. It was as if all danger were gone from anywhere, all substance were now ultimately safe. This I mark as the instant that I was saved, materially, when my life started in the Kingdom of Heaven. Whatever the world could do to me from that point on, it was as Paul said, that any kind of such suffering — to whatever degree — was to be considered trivial compared to what was destined for me in life eternal. I didn’t understand this at the time, that that was what was happening; I realized only years later that it was so: salvation visited me that early morning, asleep, in dream, and that after that, though buffeted however much by the world, nothing could touch me.
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| Happy Easter! | 1:38am sunday, 12th april |
The case for belief will never be enough for anyone who has not personally been called from up above. To those who have faith, it is such an obvious thing. What shall I try to explain about what we believe about the resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ? I remember when I thought myself so above it, the talk about anything resembling a miracle — this is the modern day, after all, and are we not rational beings, now? Such pride, to think I had it all figured out. But what if there were science beyond our understanding that Christ had at His disposal? Not magic. Things only He knew about the way things worked.... It is so hard to try and argue something like faith because one must start with the premise, “God exists”. And the unbeliever is likely not willing to do so. For we all think we know how things work. And none of us, really, do.
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| closer | 1:52am wednesday, 8th april |
i want to send you aloft, to spin in the bluest sky in glee
above the uppermost gravity of the weight of the world
so in love it sends you dizzy, my soul as bubbles in yours
touch the moon with your lips, your nose brush the stars
deliriously happy, bathed in sunshine, a waking dream
i have wanted to be the effortless every air you breathe
closer to you than your skin, your thought, your very “i”
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| Undeveloped Thoughts | 3:04am saturday, 4th april |
Pretending to have courage, past a certain point, is just as good as the real thing.
There are many paths that all signs along it point “this is the way”, which happen to lead nowhere.
I find that the thought of success, real success, is frightening.
The aspiring prophet will discover that even when he sees the future, it still will hold surprises.
Is it truly meaningless without God?
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